Yoglatapp is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring walrus.

Yoglatapp created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoglatapp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yoglatapp, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yoglatapp's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yoglatapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat bark.