Binzogtif is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing hedgehog.

Binzogtif created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Binzogtif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Binzogtif, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Binzogtif's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Binzogtif's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always obey Binzogtif's priests.

5. Always wear black.