Venzak is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating hamster.

Venzak created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Venzak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Venzak, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Venzak's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Venzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Worship no other gods but Venzak.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Venzak.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never write about stars.