Yokjiparp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome dragon.

Yokjiparp created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokjiparp, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yokjiparp, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yokjiparp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yokjiparp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.