Tamtenhit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited spider.

Tamtenhit created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Tamtenhit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tamtenhit, he will turn you into a rock.

Tamtenhit's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tamtenhit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tamtenhit on top of all buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must pray to Tamtenhit seven times a day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.