Gatnutvid is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, conceited finch.

Gatnutvid created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatnutvid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gatnutvid, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gatnutvid's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gatnutvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hide from orange squirrels for they are unholy.