Vadapphen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, resourceful dolphin.

Vadapphen created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Vadapphen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vadapphen, he will turn you into a slug.

Vadapphen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vadapphen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three bats approach from the east.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vadapphen.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.