Vonkbemdidbonkdub is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unjust elephant.

Vonkbemdidbonkdub created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbemdidbonkdub, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonkbemdidbonkdub, she will be very sad.

Vonkbemdidbonkdub's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vonkbemdidbonkdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Vonkbemdidbonkdub must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat bark.