Motlambogdap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic lizard.

Motlambogdap created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motlambogdap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Motlambogdap, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Motlambogdap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Motlambogdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never play with disobedient children.