Nurlsitbest is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic mink.

Nurlsitbest created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlsitbest, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlsitbest, she will be very unhappy.

Nurlsitbest's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Nurlsitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurlsitbest.

3. Nurlsitbest must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect three copper sculptures of Nurlsitbest on top of important buildings.