Kandoss is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic hippopotamus.

Kandoss created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kandoss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kandoss, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kandoss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kandoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick goats.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kandoss.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear brown corsets.