Mapbepbidjen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unselfish snail.

Mapbepbidjen created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbepbidjen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mapbepbidjen, she will ignore you.

Mapbepbidjen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Mapbepbidjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not shave your feet.