Yammidbim is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient monkey.

Yammidbim created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yammidbim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yammidbim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yammidbim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yammidbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never mention doves.

3. Never jump in the presence of tortoises.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Do not shave your feet.