Gigsadbag Baffosskik is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sapient goose.

Gigsadbag Baffosskik created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigsadbag Baffosskik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gigsadbag Baffosskik, it will not invite you to parties.

Gigsadbag Baffosskik's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gigsadbag Baffosskik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Put Gigsadbag Baffosskik first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.