Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating hydra.

Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Mapfonkemrulcumsomhansaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about cats.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.