Quagarntarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, self-assured fish.

Quagarntarp created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagarntarp, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quagarntarp, she will try to impress you with trees.

Quagarntarp's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quagarntarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Retreat if six badgers approach from the west.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.