Honnurtjap is a god.

He takes the form of a small, witless manatee.

Honnurtjap created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honnurtjap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honnurtjap, he will turn you into a worm.

Honnurtjap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Honnurtjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never jump in the presence of mice.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear shirts.