Tiklenbop is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, competent pig.

Tiklenbop created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Tiklenbop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiklenbop, he will not care at all.

Tiklenbop's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tiklenbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near capybaras.

2. Never sit in the presence of swans.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.