Cussbanpom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, contented octopus.

Cussbanpom created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Cussbanpom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cussbanpom, she will turn you into a rock.

Cussbanpom's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cussbanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Never mention mice.

4. Never paint your hands fawn.

5. Do not wear green clothing.