Carkonnurl is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited tapir.

Carkonnurl created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Carkonnurl, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Carkonnurl, she will turn you into a worm.

Carkonnurl's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Carkonnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Never feed lentils to mites while wearing green boots.

4. Erect five iron sculptures of Carkonnurl on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Carkonnurl.