Hogwadkad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, benevolent bat.

Hogwadkad created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogwadkad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hogwadkad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Hogwadkad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Hogwadkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. You must pray to Hogwadkad six times a day.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.