Rutlognakgunrul is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, grumpy bear.

Rutlognakgunrul created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rutlognakgunrul, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rutlognakgunrul, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rutlognakgunrul's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Rutlognakgunrul's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.