Buncinwot is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, emotional mongoose.

Buncinwot created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Buncinwot, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Buncinwot, he will turn you into a rat.

Buncinwot's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Buncinwot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. You must love Buncinwot.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.