Piglunmum Pogtalpang is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, fast swallow.

Piglunmum Pogtalpang created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Piglunmum Pogtalpang, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Piglunmum Pogtalpang, he will be very sad.

Piglunmum Pogtalpang's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Piglunmum Pogtalpang's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Piglunmum Pogtalpang.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Piglunmum Pogtalpang loves manatees, so they must be honoured.