Bag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful snake.

Bag created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Never bounce near nematodes.

4. Put Bag first in all things.

5. Do not cook food in pots.