Tunjigrat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, caring scorpion.

Tunjigrat created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Tunjigrat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tunjigrat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tunjigrat's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tunjigrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide if six hamsters approach from the east.

5. Tunjigrat loves dogs, so they must be respected.