Hoghomflapflap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish owl.

Hoghomflapflap created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghomflapflap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hoghomflapflap, she will turn you into a worm.

Hoghomflapflap's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hoghomflapflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hoghomflapflap loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.