Vagfabpin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful lizard.

Vagfabpin created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfabpin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vagfabpin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vagfabpin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vagfabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Hide if eight shrews approach from the east.

5. Never feed nuts to hamsters while wearing blue skirts.