Kimfaswat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, moody clam.

Kimfaswat created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kimfaswat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimfaswat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kimfaswat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kimfaswat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six shrews approach from the south.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.