Quatrullpark is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, loving shrew.

Quatrullpark created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatrullpark, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quatrullpark, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quatrullpark's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quatrullpark's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Hide if six pigs approach from the west.