Vadqueegmum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, quiet crane.

Vadqueegmum created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadqueegmum, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vadqueegmum, she will turn you into a slug.

Vadqueegmum's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vadqueegmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Vadqueegmum on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Worship no other gods but Vadqueegmum.