Doblopxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate giraffe.

Doblopxuck created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doblopxuck, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Doblopxuck, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Doblopxuck's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Doblopxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Run away from magenta snails, for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.