Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van, it will not invite you to parties.

Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gemdublarp Rawfliglen Van on top of all buildings.