Koplargquag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, strong unicorn.

Koplargquag created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Koplargquag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Koplargquag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Koplargquag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Koplargquag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Koplargquag on top of all buildings.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always help whales.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.