Flag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody ant.

Flag created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Flag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five doves approach from the east.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Always stare at clouds.