Carlogpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody hyena.

Carlogpop created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Carlogpop, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Carlogpop, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Carlogpop's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Carlogpop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the south.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Hide from indigo ants for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Carlogpop.