Bonkganquat is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-powerful scorpion.

Bonkganquat created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkganquat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkganquat, it will remove you from existence.

Bonkganquat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bonkganquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkganquat.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never paint your hands indigo.