Gupflisbestkab Higarfved is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witless giraffe.

Gupflisbestkab Higarfved created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupflisbestkab Higarfved, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gupflisbestkab Higarfved, it will turn you into a duck.

Gupflisbestkab Higarfved's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gupflisbestkab Higarfved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing black corsets.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.