Sterjondit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, temperamental walrus.

Sterjondit created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterjondit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sterjondit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sterjondit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Sterjondit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear turquoise corsets.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.