Sawtenvan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless dolphin.

Sawtenvan created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Sawtenvan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sawtenvan, she will turn you into a hamster.

Sawtenvan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sawtenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Sawtenvan on top of all buildings.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not listen to music.