Arpsinort is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, passionate parrot.

Arpsinort created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpsinort, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arpsinort, it will not care at all.

Arpsinort's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Arpsinort's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Arpsinort on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpsinort.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.