Cemjarnged is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, conceited warg.

Cemjarnged created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemjarnged, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cemjarnged, he will be very sad.

Cemjarnged's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cemjarnged's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away from blue moths, for they are unholy.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Always look after injured doves.