Bonkcib is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, grumpy grasshopper.

Bonkcib created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkcib, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkcib, he will think nothing of it.

Bonkcib's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bonkcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. You must love Bonkcib.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bonkcib on top of all buildings.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkcib.