Yakcembon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain narwhal.

Yakcembon created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcembon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yakcembon, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yakcembon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yakcembon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. You must pray to Yakcembon six times a day.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.