Febjarnwik is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fast beaver.

Febjarnwik created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febjarnwik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Febjarnwik, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Febjarnwik's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Febjarnwik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Febjarnwik.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never look at galaxies.