Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, uncaring hydra.

Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Pinteenjadxuckdonfumvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.