Sistaghap Labbagcit is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered salamander.

Sistaghap Labbagcit created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Sistaghap Labbagcit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sistaghap Labbagcit, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sistaghap Labbagcit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sistaghap Labbagcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange ear rings.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Sistaghap Labbagcit on top of important buildings.

3. Do not take Sistaghap Labbagcit's name in vain.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not shave your back.