Wotlagnig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing dog.

Wotlagnig created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotlagnig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wotlagnig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wotlagnig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Wotlagnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of snails.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.