Fatbeptonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unjust narwhal.

Fatbeptonk created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatbeptonk, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fatbeptonk, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fatbeptonk's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Fatbeptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always obey Fatbeptonk's priests.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. You must pray to Fatbeptonk five times a day.