Ortjonrot is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciless chicken.

Ortjonrot created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortjonrot, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ortjonrot, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ortjonrot's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Ortjonrot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortjonrot.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.